Random Thinkings

2012-02-15T09:17:00.000-08:00

I've been on two dates to see various Star Wars movies. Summer of 1997 and last night. During the former I specifically recall a lack of interest on my part. Both in the man and the movie. Last night's was much more successful.

2012-02-08T09:00:00.000-08:00

I've never been a fan of the analogy. You know the type. You find them on the SATs. When Jack came home with a worksheet full of them and asking for my help I found myself with this reply, "Stupid is to dumb as lame is to this assignment." But it should read stupid:dumb::lame:this assignment. A model parent I've never claimed to be but it did get a good laugh from those of us trying to figure out the answer to green:stream::goat:_________.

2012-01-22T21:27:00.000-08:00

I'm officially obsessed with Downton Abbey. The sisterwife complains that I'm a hard sell when it comes to adopting new stories. I don't think that's true at all, m'lady. Who doesn't enjoy a good love story?

2012-01-17T20:28:00.000-08:00

Tycen and I went on a date to Puss in Boots tonight. I had *no* idea how James Dean he would look in his 3D glasses. Be still my heart.

2011-12-27T17:33:00.001-08:00

How did I ever get by without this phone?

2011-12-16T18:41:00.000-08:00

I'm trying to convince the six year old to take a break from his math problems. On a Friday night. Because that's how we roll.

2011-12-12T09:14:00.000-08:00

I stayed up way too late last night. I get sucked in every time. She's just so darn good at making everything look pretty. I hear Pinterest is all the rage. I'm still being wooed by Martha.

2011-12-06T17:02:00.001-08:00

Do you think it's overboard that I'm watching TV on the iPad whilst perusing the internet on the laptop? Thought so.

In other news one of my favorite things about our new-to-us house? The wood burning fireplace.

2011-11-13T17:46:00.000-08:00

I think the older couple was annoyed that we took their pew during church today. I say all's fair in church attendance and punctuality. No worries, though, older couple. That pew only fit our crew today because the majority of our clan was on the stand for the Primary Program. Lookin' mi-t-fine, I might add. Next week it's back to our regularly scheduled row of chairs in the back.

2011-11-07T09:40:00.000-08:00

It snowed this weekend. Hallelujah. I'm sure I've mentioned that I'm not one who enjoys summer. It's slightly annoying to have to scrape off the car but considering that this time last year we had one car that took an hour to heat up and another car that was missing a very important window, I consider this to be only a mild irritation. Life is good.

2011-10-31T00:01:00.000-07:00

ps- The answer to the last post is Jack.

2011-10-23T20:42:00.000-07:00

Guess which child said this to me. "When I come back with my friends can you please be fully dressed?"

2011-10-08T22:29:00.001-07:00

It's true what they say. Life really *is* easier when your washer and dryer work properly.

2011-09-20T17:54:00.001-07:00

On Saturday afternoon the doorbell rang. Ellie and Tycen (both being rather nosy children) ran to see who it was. And who should be there? The one and only Grammy. We've been enjoying her company ever since.

2011-09-15T10:18:00.001-07:00

There's a big surprise happening here on Saturday. BIG. The few who know about it (meaning the adults of the household) are getting excited and working frantically to make it happen. Wish us luck.

2011-09-02T10:30:00.000-07:00

Confession time. I love to eat. And I don't love to exercise. Given that I've gained 10 lbs in the last two years I'm feeling the need to confess. I'm not going to openly admit my weight because I can't. What I will tell you is that I weigh 30 lbs less than when I gave birth to a certain adorable child who shall remain nameless 12 years ago. And I weigh 20 lbs more than I did when I graduated from high school. I weigh 40 lbs more than I did when I got married when I was borderline underweight at 105 lbs. If you'd like to do the math to figure out how much I weigh now feel free.

The point is that at any given time, I've thought I was fat. Honestly and truly at 105 lbs when I got married I believed that I was chubby. I wore a corset under my dress. In high school I was self conscious about everything (but who isn't at that age...). I rarely wore a swimsuit because at 125 lbs I believed that I was heavy. I didn't think it. I believed it.

The other day I was talking with a coworker who's in her late 60s. She was discussing her need to lose weight. I realized that this was the first time I've never said the same thing. I said to her, "If someone wants to be with me? They can love me the way I am at any given moment. And if they don't? Then they must not really love me."

It's taken me years of self torture to get to a point where I look in the mirror before stepping into the shower and see something good. And what do I have to say now? I'm really glad I'm realizing this at 32 and not 68.

2011-08-28T14:53:00.000-07:00

Let's face it. I'm used to people forgetting my name. Or not being able to pronounce it. Or asking me to repeat it three times over the phone. But today was a new experience. At church an older lady insisted that my name is Penny. I'm very much looking forward to this change. Do you realize how close Penny is to Peggy?! A mere couple of letters. Oh how I long to be mistaken for Peggy Olson.

2011-08-22T20:57:00.000-07:00

Tycen and I enjoyed our last day of alone time this morning. The first graders in our district start school a day later than everyone else. I was once told that if you think it's hard sending your first child to school, wait until you have to send your last. My heartstrings are officially tugged. My baby is off to the big wide world. And he couldn't be more excited about it.

We celebrated with a trip to Subway after the 45 minute 1st grade orientation. (I'm beginning to feel like a pro at 1st grade orientation, by the way, and just in time for me to retire from them.) When we were ordering he paused and we had the following conversation.

Him: "Mommy, I don't want you to drink diet coke anymore."

Me: "Why?"

Him: "Kelly says it's really bad for a woman's bones and I don't want you to break anything."

I suppose it's time to revisit that longstanding habit. But on today? OF ALL DAYS? Come on now.

ps- By early afternoon he and I were in a good ol' fashioned yelling argument about the Wii. Yup. Time for school it is.

2011-08-20T10:39:00.000-07:00

I can't explain why but my four children have turned into one (very responsible) seventh grader and three infants. Whatever the reason for the clinginess, I'm enjoying it while it lasts since it's not long until they're all begging me to drop them off half a mile from the mall.

During a recent stay of our beloved Natalie and her kids, Andrew had a sleepover with Tycen. The sisterwife overheard the following.

Andrew: "Where are we gonna sleep tonight?"

Tycen: "Dude. We can sleep with my mom. In her bed."

For the record Andrew poo-pooed that idea and they slept on the floor of the sisterwife's room.

ps- Natalie aren't you moving to Utah yet? Pretty please?

2011-08-17T17:41:00.000-07:00

When I realized I was out of chocolate chips for the cookies, I chopped up some kit kat bars. Admit it. You wish you had my sense of rebellion.

2011-08-10T22:06:00.000-07:00

Went down the slip 'n slide at cub scouts today. Am feeling the effects now. Was *so* worth the fit of giggles I threw Jackson into though.

2011-08-07T20:05:00.000-07:00

What makes a Sunday trip to Utah County a zillion times more palatable? The niece in the backseat with her birthday ukelele accompanying every song on the radio. True story.

2011-07-13T12:15:00.001-07:00

As I'm working at organizing my desk today and all the tasks that come with being the family accountant, there are two things I'm wishing I'd inherited from my mom.

1. Her mad secretarial skills.

2. Her gumption.

With the former, though I enjoy a good round of organizing, I have a strong dislike for paperwork. Or at least the filing of the paperwork and the shredding of the paperwork and the fact that there's always paperwork, paperwork, paperwork.

With the latter, my mom has this amazing amount of energy. Me? Most of the time I feel like my get up and go got up and went. And I'm left here wishing I could take a really nice nap.

2011-07-11T18:07:00.000-07:00

Please help us welcome Grady Sirmans Chaffin Hogge Walker to our family. He was born in 2005. He weighs about 4300 lbs and is 190.5 inches long. We love him and he's already the perfect fit for our family.

ps-More news. The sisterwife bought us a house. Now we can be one big happy family of 3 adults, 6 children and 2 dogs (and various friends and neighbor children) in 2100 square feet instead of 1300 square feet. Who else thinks all the kids will still end up in my room? Pictures forthcoming but not for a while. We have to close on, clean up and cute out this humble abode.

2011-07-05T21:33:00.000-07:00

Why drive a gray '05 Toyota Sienna when you can drive an orange one? Think I'm kidding? Pictures to follow as soon as I pick her up. Scratch that. It might be a him. We haven't decided yet. How do y'all feel about the name Grady?

2011-06-20T16:18:00.000-07:00

I decided it was time to step into the world of more comfy (read: old people) footwear. Rocketdogs, I love you and all but dang y'all aren't easy on my old-lady feet. I ordered my first pair of Keens recently and by golly they're fantastic. I, of course, had to get them in rust. (Though had I seen the dill they would've been tempting as well.)

My summer uniform is now complete. These cropped jeans, t-shirts much like these, my orange shoes and a whole lot of sunscreen. Life is good.

2011-06-09T15:50:00.000-07:00

If you know me at all you know it's not in my constitution to beg. Dang pride. But I have begged and pleaded with my skateboarding son to wear his helmet. I've told stories of skateboarders who end up as his Aunt Sally's patient in the PICU from injuries that could've been prevented by a helmet. His Uncle Lane's friend (a professional skater) told him about a kid who died from landing the wrong way with no helmet on. 'Twas in vain.

Until today. Today I came up with a different plan. I said as I dropped him off at the skate park, "I'm going to start showing up here unannounced and if you're not wearing a helmet I'm bringing you home." Sure enough as I held true to my word and pulled into the skatepark on my way to run errands, I found a plethora of boys with nary a helmet on a head. I jumped out of the car and as soon as Jack saw me, he knew. He didn't even say anything. Just got in the car. So not only did I embarrass him. I made him run errands with me. If you're familiar at all with 9 year old boys (or any other male for that matter) then you'll know this in itself was punishment.

He has no idea how mortifying I can be. Next time I'll have half a mind to tell all of those young men that it's all fun and games 'til someone has to wear a diaper and be pushed around in a chair. Trust me. I'm not afraid of any of those boys. Or who I embarrass. But I can do hardcore mothering when necessary. Those boys don't know what they're up against...

2011-05-18T08:01:00.001-07:00

Sitting in complete silence except for the rain. Oh alone time how you aren't here enough.

Debating getting up to start laundry. Oh clean sheets how I adore thee.

Thinking of the scant few weeks left of school. Oh summer how we don't get along.

Loving this dreary weather. Oh how much I love a rainy morning.

Really needing to go to the store. Oh grocery shopping how never ending you are.

And yet here I sit. Enjoying this lovely, rainy, silent morning. Hope your morning is going as well as mine.

2011-05-10T14:51:00.000-07:00

I thought I was just being the (wo)man at work yesterday moving some display drawers around. No big. Today I could barely get my shirt over my head. Time to amp up the workouts. Is it possible to amp up something that doesn't exist right now?

Also, it's birthday season around here. We have a golden birthday - 12 on the 12th, a child turning a decade, another who will be baptized, one whose birthday will mark the entrance into school full time next year and, last but not least, one where a certain someone can start going to church dances. We have a *lot* of celebrating to do. Best get to it.

2011-05-04T07:47:00.001-07:00

Facebook has made me realize just how uninteresting people can be. Present company excluded, of course.

On a completely unrelated note I had the following conversation with Tycen yesterday as he was laying on my lap.

Him: "Mom, I'm glad you're chubby."

Me: "Why is that?"

Him: "Because it makes you more comfy...but you're not that chubby. Like one percent."

I'm so glad I could be involved in his first ever man-stumble-over-his-words-about-a-woman's-weight.

2011-04-27T20:39:00.000-07:00

I bought my eldest son his first pair of super skinny teal dyed jeans. I'll admit. They're pretty amazing. There were also purple and red jeans but they were way too big. Baggy skinny jeans? What's the point?

Side note: I can't keep weight on this child. He expends way more calories than he consumes. I wish I could give him some of my extras...

2011-04-24T16:02:00.001-07:00

The game of Monopoly is *way* more interesting when a five year old is kicking your behind. Trust me.

2011-04-13T13:53:00.001-07:00

After a doctor visit recently my youngest son made the following observation upon receiving a sticker. He felt the sticker was a tad presumptuous in it's claim on the back reading "Kids Love Stickers!"

Him: "Not all kids love stickers."

Me: "You think so? You don't love stickers?"

Him: "No I don't *love* stickers. They're fine. I like them."

Me: "Hmm. About how many kids would you say *love* stickers then?"

Him: "I don't know. Probably 82%."

Me: "So you're saying they shouldn't be allowed to make that claim?"

Him: "I'm just saying that not all kids love stickers. And also they really need to clean up their waiting room. I'm glad I brought my book. Their books were boring."

He's got the realism, skepticism and occasional grumpiness. Yup. He's a real Sirmans man alright.

2011-04-04T20:27:00.000-07:00

I know it's been a long time. A lifetime for some. But does anyone remember the mini fat chick? I think I found his cousin.

Today whilst grocery shopping at the Reams with the sisterwife we found ourselves perusing the home decor aisle. Surprised that there's a home decor aisle at the Reams? Let's just say it's a loosely defined term. Anyway, we came across this:

Needless to say it has found a place in our living room.

2011-03-31T11:21:00.001-07:00

One of my favorite quotes from Mad Men: "She's taken to your tools like a little lesbian."

Now that genre of thinking may have flown in the 1960s but I'm here to tell you that girls can love tools too. Case in point? Me.

Perhaps it's a byproduct of my profession. I'm required to creatively hang things and assemble numerous pieces of furniture. But let's face it. I was born a tomboy so obsessive tool collecting shouldn't be a shocker.

I recently inherited an old, old, old tool box from my (former) father-in-law. I can no longer contain my excitement. Eek! Let's hang something.

2011-03-21T16:45:00.001-07:00

Done today:

Came home from work.

Worked on laundry.

Straightened the house.

Baked some cookies.

Made homemade tomato soup.

To do tonight:

Clean kitchen.

Continue laundry.

Put kids to bed.

Pay bills.

Sometimes I'm amazed by my domestic prowess.

2011-03-01T20:43:00.000-08:00

Said a co-worker to me, "Your whole face looks different when you don't have your glasses on." I think these new specs have taken on a life of their very own.

2011-02-22T08:34:00.000-08:00

I just signed all four kids up for their various and sundry spring sports. After writing all of the commitments on the calendar I have the overwhelming urge to take a nap. March is shaping up to be an extremely busy month.

ps- Kylie is dabbling in competitive swimming. Jackson will be playing basketball and baseball. Ellie is trying ice skating. (She's the only child willing to step foot on the ice.) Tycen is giving basketball and tee ball a try.

2011-02-13T08:52:00.000-08:00

I recently read an article in the paper about church on Facebook. I can't explain it but I just feel uncomfortable with this statement: "If you like Jesus click here."

2011-02-01T21:56:00.000-08:00

Bedtime can be a long process around here. What with four children and baths and reading and making sure homework is done and chores and dinner - well, it's amazing we're done by 8ish.

I've taken to reading scriptures individually with the kids at bedtime. This takes a lot more of my time than it would to do a few verses collectively but it gives me a better sense of whether they're understanding what's being read.

Tonight I was thumbing through 1 Nephi with Tycen trying to remember where we left off.

Me: "Hmm...tree of life, done. Land of promise, read it. Church of the devil, read it..."

Him: "Wait..what? I don't remember that one. Let's read it again."

Somewhere around verse 5, as he started to nod off, he said, "This is gettin' good now." I thought for sure, he'd have said that about the slaying of Laban but I guess we all have our own ideas of a good read...

Oh and Ellie and I? Just read about Abram, Sarai, Hagar and Ishmael which prompted her to say, "These people have the weirdest names don't they?"

2011-01-30T21:07:00.000-08:00

A plea to Jukebox.

If you would but allow me a quick audition I could wow you with my castanet skills, amaze you with my ability to make sheet metal sound like thunder and floor you with my knowledge of a chime. I can also tap, snap and clap on beat and/or command. Just sayin...

ps- I have a few songs in mind for y'all. I know y'all don't do a whole lot of country but trust me. You should. Just about any Garth song would do. I'm also a big fan of this George Strait classic. And totally off the country topic but don't you find this to be a happy little ditty? Also this would be a fun one as well.

2011-01-27T11:51:00.001-08:00

Recent Tidbits via the Manchild.

Me: "Seriously, child. Are you trying to drive me crazy?"

Him: "No. [slight pause] I'm trying to drive you nuts."

Me: "Well you're doing a fine job."

Him: "This is America. I don't have to take a bath if I don't want to."

Me: "This *is* America. And I refuse to let you walk around smelling so foul."

Him: "How do you spell 'young'?"

Me: "Y-o-u-n-g."

Him: "How do you spell 'Jeezy'?"

Me: "J-wait, what on earth are you doing? And Jeezy, by the way, isn't a real word. So I'll have to guess."

2011-01-24T05:45:00.001-08:00

Wanna know what constitutes a good time around here? Finding this on cassette tape at the Deseret Industries and then actually being happy that we had to drive to Utah County just so we could listen to it. And, of course, we sang along so loud we woke up hoarse the next morning. Bonus? The kids were *really* annoyed that we made them listen to country music. But I think they secretly enjoyed it.

ps- We also bought, for a screamin' deal I might add, some marriage manuals from the 1950s. Surely the sisterwife and I can figure out where we went wrong...

2011-01-11T16:20:00.001-08:00

I'd be willing to bet that you have no idea of my prowess as a Lego and Lego Star Wars aficionado. Every night the manchild and I read a previously agreed upon number of pages from this book. And this book. Granted, I have no one to blame but myself as these books have each been either birthday or Christmas presents from yours truly. But oh how I love to watch him study everything in them. And tell me when I've pronounced the names wrong. He's all but given up fiction story books for these. I wonder how long before he discovers the wonders of the non-fiction section of the local library...

2011-01-03T18:59:00.000-08:00

"Joshua, you are the son of God. You're the Messiah. That implies - oh, I don't know - that you're a Jew! You can't eat bacon."

"God doesn't care if we eat bacon. I can just feel it."

"Really. He still feels the same way about fornication?"

"Yep."

"Masturbation?"

"Yep."

"Killing? Stealing? Bearing false witness? Coveting thy neighbor's wife, et. cetera? No change of heart on those?"

"Nope."

"Just bacon. Interesting. You would've thought there'd be something about bacon in the prophesies of Isaiah."

"Yeah, makes you wonder, doesn't it?"

"You're going to need more than that to usher in the kingdom of God, Josh, no offense. We can't go home with, 'Hi, I'm the Messiah, God wants you to have this bacon.'"

"I know. We have much more to learn. But breakfasts will be more interesting."

Another excerpt from Lamb: The Gospel According to Biff, Christ's Childhood Pal

2011-01-02T21:16:00.000-08:00

I'm happy to report that we made it through the school break relatively unscathed and our schedule starts fresh first thing Monday morning. You'll please allow me to use the following phrase liberally and emphatically: YIPEE!

2010-12-30T10:49:00.000-08:00

"Let my people go," said Joshua as Moses.

"Ok."

"You can't just say, 'Ok'."

"I can't?"

"No. The Lord has hardened your heart against my demands."

"Why'd he do that?"

"I don't know, He just did. Now let my people go."

"Nope." I crossed my arms and turned away like someone whose heart is hardened.

"Behold as I turn this stick into a snake. Now let my people go."

"Ok."

"You can't just say, 'Ok'."

"Why? That was a pretty good trick with the stick."

"But that's not how it goes."

"Ok. No way, Moses. Your people have to stay."

Joshua waved his staff in my face. "Behold I will plague you with frogs. They will fill your house and your bedchamber and get on your stuff."

"So?"

"So that's bad. Let my people go, Pharoah."

"I sort of like frogs."

"Dead frogs," Moses threatened. "Piles of steaming, stinking dead frogs."

"Oh in that case. You'd better take your people and go. I have some sphinxes and stuff to build anyway."

"Dammit Biff. That's not how it goes. I have more plagues for you."

"I wanna be Moses."

"You can't."

"Why not?"

"I have the stick."

"Oh."

Excerpt from Lamb: The Gospel According to Biff, Christ's Childhood Pal

Yeah, I'm aware that I'm totally late to this gathering (and that it might be a smite blasphemous) but come on. Seriously. It's good, right?

2010-12-21T10:59:00.000-08:00

It's days like today that I'm grateful for the fact that Jack and I share a shoe size. I had to borrow his snow boots for a quick stroll around the neighborhood. Who knew that trudging uphill through unplowed snow was such a good workout?

ps-The close call of the day? When I almost pantsed myself on Highland Dr.

2010-12-15T19:35:00.000-08:00

I pass a certain billboard on the way home from work. The first time I read it I swear it said, "Want to drink your way to the top?" Diet Coke. Turns out it actually says, "What to drink on your way to the top." Diet Coke.

I don't fancy myself knowledgeable on advertising. (Except for staring at Don Draper.) But to the top of what? And I actually think my version makes more sense.

2010-11-30T20:50:00.001-08:00

I'll let y'all in on a little secret. At night, after I've tucked the sister and the kids in bed snug as a bug, I often sneak out for a walk. It's hard for me to not feel caged by life. I mean that in the least threatening way possible. Sometimes I just need to leave. I have a favorite spot where if I'm walking east I have a perfect view of the snow covered mountains. And if I'm walking west (and only in Utah do I even know if I'm walking east or west) I have a perfect view of the city. Somehow these walks help me to remember that my life is pretty swell. I have a warm home. I have food to eat. I have clothes to wear. I have a family who loves me. I find that with a touch of perspective (and a little bit of faith) I no longer feel confined. Who knew so much freedom could come from a little stroll around the neighborhood...

2010-11-25T09:41:00.000-08:00

Netflix: check.

Laptop: check.

Sisterwife tucked in after a long shift: check.

Kids off with their dad: check.

Newspaper: check.

Leftover queso from Cafe Rio: check.

Fresh sheets on the cozy bed: check.

Immense gratitude for my alone time: double check.

2010-11-22T17:31:00.001-08:00

I just found out that a Chick-Fil-A is being built down the street. I believe the proper term to express my excitement on this matter is "Yipee!"

On a completely unrelated note...the kids have formed the tradition of filling each other's stockings. I spent the day taking each child to carefully select their goods. Despite having slashed their budget in half this year (which they didn't seem to notice), they'll still be ending up with more than enough loot. It's fascinating to watch each of them mindfully choose things for their siblings.

ps- Tycen tried to say that I'd told him he could get himself something. When I informed him that this was not at all the case (and he tried to have a brief fit in Target) you might have heard me say, "Tycen Karl do not make me leave this store and have to put coal in your stocking." To which he said, "What's coal again?"

2010-11-08T08:24:00.000-08:00

A rainy day in the desert? *And* I don't need to go to work today? *And* the kids are all at school? The heavens are smiling upon me.

2010-11-02T21:44:00.000-07:00

As we were streaming Netflix through the Wii, I may have said, "You kids don't even know how good you have it. I remember life with no internet, no cable, no VCR, black and white TV and pay phones." To which Kylie replied, "What the heck are pay phones?"

2010-10-31T20:45:00.000-07:00

I've been thinking about Halloweens gone by. There was the time I dressed up as a Care Bear. There was the year that I recall my parents bribing us with a movie to skip trick or treating altogether. There are vague memories of sifting through candy with my mom immediately throwing out all the cheap stuff and my dad siphoning a few of his favorites. It's never been on my list of most loved holidays. But, honestly, I'm not sure I even have a list for such things.

I do know that this year, despite my employment in an industry where I've been looking at Halloween since July, I was determined to appear festive. We made gingerbread scary houses. We visited pumpkin patches. We read Halloween books. We had a day devoted to getting new toothbrushes. We even had a cousin sponsored Haunted House in our very own apartment. And let me tell you, I hear the manchild was so scared he was clinging to the sisterwife for dear life during and after. He even let her snuggle him to sleep that night. Huge honor since he cuddles with few.

And now I can see why my mom bribed, begged and pleaded with us to just let her buy us each a bag of candy, head to the movies and turn off the porch light. I'm exhausted from all this celebrating.

2010-10-22T10:54:00.000-07:00

Have you ever looked at your feet and wondered if they're proof that God has a sense of humor? No? Just me? Huh.

2010-10-14T09:01:00.000-07:00

I recently accompanied the Manchild's kindergarten class on a trip to the pumpkin farm. I remember doing the same for Kylie's class six years ago when she was that age. I found myself pondering how much life can change in such a seemingly short amount of time. The scariest part? Six years from now the kids will be 17, 15, 13 and 11. Eek!

2010-10-09T11:14:00.001-07:00

The other day I found out that Jack and the Manchild had named their man parts respectively Gordon and Dylan. I tried *really* hard not to laugh when I was given this news. I also may never be able to meet people with those names without giggling to myself. Does that make me immature?

2010-10-07T22:19:00.000-07:00

It's no secret that I've had a love of Ingrid Michaelson's music for several years. I tried to get to her show last year but events conspired against me and it wasn't meant to be. So I shall make no promise this year lest I be disappointed come Oct. 26. Though, really, Oct. 28 seems a more apropos day. My favorite lately? "The Chain" I find the round to be an underused method in song writing.

Who am I kidding? They're all my favorite.

2010-10-05T14:44:00.000-07:00

Paid a heavy penance at the gym this morning for all of my wrongdoings this past weekend. So worth it though.

2010-10-04T18:48:00.001-07:00

Played a few rounds of Halloween Mad Libs with the kids this afternoon. Never gets old or ceases to make us laugh until we cry. I did, however, have to put the kibosh on the manchild's incessant use of the words wiener and bum. Way to be a buzzkill, I know. Boys. *shakes head*

2010-09-30T17:19:00.000-07:00

Oh that I could afford another Miele. Tonight's not the most convenient time for the vacuum to bite it. Laneybug's coming for a visit and I was just about to finish the housework with a lovely vacuuming session. Not that Lane cares so much whether the carpet is free of crumbs. But oh how I do. If it were the parents coming to visit, I'd be running out to buy a new vacuum tout de suite. As it stands now, I suppose I can at least wait 'til payday. Would it be odd if I crawled through the house picking up debris on my hands and knees? Wait...that sounds like a good job for the kids.

Can anyone guess what the birthday fairy will be bringing me?

2010-09-29T09:06:00.001-07:00

It's no secret that I get some sort of (admittedly odd) satisfaction out of throwing stuff away. I also enjoy a good run to the local Salvation Army. So with that in mind, and because I knew it was gonna be a slow week at work, I decided to declare this week Closet Week. That's right, folks. Every closet in the house. And anything else that I deem a closet is getting cleaned out. I've done four so far. Know what always fascinates me? With as often as I throw stuff out, these kids still manage to accumulate the most amount of stuff. Seriously. A couple of trash bags and a trunk load of stuff to the DI and I'm feeling lighter already.

2010-09-27T08:57:00.000-07:00

Had you been at work with me recently, you'd have heard me say the following to a couple of co-workers.

"Let me re-phrase that. It's not that I couldn't eat all of those nachos. I totally could. It's that I shouldn't eat all of those nachos. There's a big difference. And I'm just gonna admit it. I love food. Love it. And, quite frankly, I love eating. It's one of my favorite things. Sadly, I don't enjoy exercising nearly as much."

Phew. I'm glad I got that off my chest.

2010-09-22T18:27:00.000-07:00

Remember when I told y'all about the manchild looking just like my dad in his basketball shorts? Well, today he *sounded* just like him whilst wearing said shorts.

Tycen: "You know what's wrong with these basketball shorts? There's no pockets. Where am I supposed to put my stuff?"

Me: "Hmm. That does sound like a problem."

Tycen: "You should really think about that next time you buy some."

Will do. I mean, where's a man gonna put his billfold and keys?

2010-09-21T11:11:00.000-07:00

Not too long ago, I bought myself a pair of shoes. They were swiftly taken over by the eldest daughter and are now her school shoes. Shortly thereafter I bought myself another pair of shoes. They were taken over by the eldest son. Methinks I shall start to shop at old people stores.

2010-09-19T18:57:00.000-07:00

Because their Dad got married last week, there's been a lot of talk between the kids of who they think I should marry next.

Ellie: "Whoever you marry next needs to be hot for you."

Me: "What exactly does that mean? Hot for me as in he's pretty to look at? Or hot for me as in he thinks I'm pretty to look at? And how do you know that phrase anyway?"

Ellie: "The second one."

Tycen: "You should marry a man with lots of money so he can buy us toys. But not weapons."

Me: "Why not weapons?"

Tycen: "Well, maybe pretend weapons."

Me: "I'm not sure what that means."

2010-09-17T09:59:00.000-07:00

In an effort to find a larger vehicle for me and my brood, I've been shopping the internets a bit. There's a 1966 Ford LTD for sale. It's orange, people. Orange! How amazing would that be to drive around town? I hear it's a beast to park though...

2010-09-12T11:11:00.000-07:00

To Lowree: per your request I developed this recipe. I made them this morning and I must say, they are most delicious.

White Chocolate Macadamia Cookies

1/2 c. softened unsalted butter

1/2 c. vanilla lowfat yogurt

2/3 c. sugar

1/2 c. packed light brown sugar

2 large eggs

2 tsp. vanilla

1 tsp. baking soda

1/2 tsp. salt

2 1/2 c. KING ARTHUR white wheat flour

1 bag white chocolate chips - I use Ghiradelli

5 oz. macadamia nuts chopped (I have a chopper thingie but a good ice cream scooper bash would do as well.)

Beat butter and yogurt until smooth. Cream with sugars until nice and fluffy. Beat in eggs and vanilla. Beat in soda and salt until well incorporated. Beat in flour. Stir in chips and nuts. Bake at 375 degrees on parchment lined cookie sheet for 8-10 minutes or until golden and edges are set. Let cool on rack for a few minutes if you don't eat them all first. Ta-da.

*The original recipe I used as a base for this one called for 1 cup butter, 1 cup of sugar, 3/4 cup of brown sugar, and all purpose flour. I like to live on the edge.

2010-09-09T09:44:00.000-07:00

I'm faced with an honest to goodness dilemma over here. How do I tell the Manchild's kindergarten teacher that the reason he's acting out in class is because he's *insanely* and *mind-numbingly* bored? Without coming across as just another pompous parent who happens to think their kid is brillz. Seriously. I'm not making excuses for him. He shouldn't be getting "Think Time" (our school's discipline of choice) every day. But I've seen the work they're sending home and I know he wants to scream, "This is bullcrap!" right in the middle of class. He's on the verge of reading chapter books and they're talking about the letters C and R.

ps- I? Would love to take credit for his mad literary skills but he just up and started reading one day a few months ago and hasn't stopped since. In fact, the sisterwife was recently perusing choices for watching a show on the TVs guide and he said "Why do you wanna watch Sex and the City Episode 209?" Ha. I love him.

2010-09-07T13:50:00.000-07:00

The manchild wore an outfit to school today that was astoundingly similar to one my father would wear. Button up shirt, basketball shorts and black socks with his sneakers. If only he'd had a pair of crocs...

2010-09-06T20:03:00.001-07:00

9:15 pm. Sitting on the patio. 63 degrees. Listening to new (to me) music. Looking out at the city lights. If I could fit a couch out here I'd totally be laying on it right now. Even just a hammock would do. Truth be told? My dream house is a wrap around screened porch with a tiny indoor living space.

2010-09-06T11:08:00.001-07:00

I'm emotionally spent after last night's episode of Mad Men. So good I had to watch it twice.

ps- My newest goal in life? To be as cute as Peggy Olson.

2010-09-03T16:46:00.001-07:00

When I informed my eldest child that I was transitioning us to buying all of our groceries at Whole Foods and Good Earth, she accused me of trying to starve her to death and asked if she could use her money to buy "real" food. Oh how I hope she can market her flair for the dramatic. Maybe then she can buy her own Oreos.

2010-09-02T11:49:00.001-07:00

Do you suppose it's unbecoming for a woman to really enjoy onions?

2010-08-29T16:53:00.001-07:00

The manchild has to have his McDonald's burger ketchup only. No cheese. No other condiments. Meat, ketchup, bread. The other day he bit into one with everything on it without realizing. He spit it out and promptly said, "See?! I told you French people don't know how to make a hamburger!" I'm not sure what that means.

2010-08-19T09:01:00.001-07:00

Despite the fact that I raised four children from infancy, it still took me 10 minutes to figure out how to fold the stroller when Baby J was in my charge yesterday. I'm still not sure how I did it...

Is he not ridiculously adorable?

2010-08-17T18:53:00.000-07:00

Ellie: "What's for dinner?"

Me: "Barbecue chicken and corn on the cob. And, your favorite, broccoli.*"

Ellie: "Aww man. I wanted Spaghettios."

Me: "Let's save those for a day when I don't feel like cooking."

The 18 year old nephew's biggest complaint about living here? The lack of gourmet cooking. I'm not ashamed to admit that there are many a day when it's Cup Noodles or cereal all around. Sometimes I just can't be bothered to play chef.

*Broccoli really is her favorite. Go figure.

2010-08-05T19:34:00.000-07:00

Ellie: "Maybe you should think about doing the dishes, Mom."

While the sisterwife is off helping the awesome kiddies at camp, I'm left to do her dirty work. We have a nice agreement going. She loads the dishwasher, which I hate to do. And I unload the clean dishes, which she hates to do. But when you can't fit anymore dishes in (or next to) the sink, it's time to face the fact that she's not coming home for two more weeks. *sigh*

2010-07-28T19:32:00.001-07:00

So it seems the moral of the story is: Don't underestimate the power of overestimating.

How's that for vaguebooking?

2010-07-26T21:26:00.000-07:00

Today, Bertha's driver-side window got stuck in the down position. The bad news is it was raining. The good news is I can rock a windblown hairdo when necessary. I guess I should have her fixed...along with the seatbelt in the back seat that's stuck and the glovebox latch that's broken. Don't hate. She's lived a long duty-filled life and she'll remain with us until her dying days. (Which, Heaven willing, are long off.) My heart may swoon for (hopeful) Sprinter ownership but I shall never forsake my Bertha.

My mantra for today? At least it was only the window.

2010-07-22T15:03:00.000-07:00

Nine years ago today, at about 1pm, I went into labor. I believe what I said was, "Either I peed my pants or my water broke." My water had indeed broken and at 10ish pm Mr. Jackson Fielding made his grand appearance into the world. He's morphed from Jackson to Jacky Boy to Jack but he really hasn't changed much. He was an easy baby and despite the fact that his teachers tell me constantly that he needs to stop talking out of turn* he's an easy nine year old. So to my Jacky Boy I wish a very Happy Birthday. I can't wait to see him tomorrow night. For all I know (and since I haven't seen him in over a month) he's taller than me**.

*So not a Sirmans trait.

**I tell him all that time that one day he'll be so much taller than me that he'll be able to pick me up and tote me around in his pocket.

2010-07-22T14:57:00.000-07:00

I make it a point not to post many pictures on this here blog. I can't explain it. Sometimes I just don't want you to see my face. But this picture, as they say, is worth a thousand million trillion words. Sometimes there's no love like the kind Clemon gives.

2010-07-19T10:57:00.000-07:00

The Manchild: "When is Mexican's birthday?"

Me: "What?"

Him: "You know the day we celebrate the birthday for this state?"

Me: "Oh. It's called Pioneer Day and Utahns seem to think we need to celebrate it for the whole month of July."

2010-07-13T21:03:00.000-07:00

This is one of my all time most favoritest Ingrid tunes in the world. Jukebox could do a crazy remix with it. Get thee to a ukulele, y'all.

2010-07-12T21:13:00.001-07:00

At my workout tonight not only was I wearing my Ghostbusters t-shirt and my favoritest workout shorts but I also had purple peacock ankle socks peeking out from my shoes. I'm not sure I've ever looked so amazing in all my life. Don't hate me because I'm beautiful.

2010-07-08T17:57:00.001-07:00

I find myself craving saltines lately. I can't explain it. I just know that a sleeve of saltines* is about 350 calories. So, really, I should be wasting those calories on something else, no?

*I love to say sleeve of saltines. I can't explain that either.

2010-07-06T22:33:00.000-07:00

Everyone knows this guy's a looker. If you're into that obviously handsome, piercing eyes type. I'm gonna go out on a limb and admit that I'm on Team Alan. What's not to love? I just hope he's into short girls with glasses who can't be bothered to change out of her jammies when she goes to the store. Oh and it'd be helpful if he liked children. I'm just sayin'...

2010-07-04T20:23:00.000-07:00

My outfit this afternoon? Why, I'm glad you asked. These sweats paired with my well worn red Target t-shirt dating back to my days of employment at that fine establishment. It even declares me Back Room Certified. Impressed? I thought so. Anyway, who knew I could be so patriotic in my jammies?

2010-07-01T20:28:00.000-07:00

Eating pizza and then working out seemed like a good idea at the time. Speaking of working out, I'll be honest. Before last week, I hadn't done so in, uh, at least a month. I would love to cite busy as my reason but it was really second to laziness. Now that Christian is here and I told him we should go to the gym daily he keeps me on that straight and narrow. He's also the one who suggested the pizza, though, come to think of it.

2010-06-23T21:00:00.001-07:00

"Often the deep valleys of our present will be understood only by looking back on them from the mountains of our future experience. Often we can't see the Lord's hand in our lives until long after trials have passed. Often the most difficult times of our lives are essential building blocks that form the foundation of our character and pave the way to future opportunity, understanding and happiness."

Such a good talk. And so true.

2010-06-20T12:29:00.000-07:00

This week is a notoriously busy one in our household with two birthdays to celebrate. Miss Ellie made her debut in this world seven years ago on Wednesday and Tycen graced us with his presence five years ago in the wee hours of this morning. We got away with combining their birthday parties for about two years and then they were onto us. Now that they're old enough to know the difference, we give each day it's own due.

Ellie happened to be out of town on this birthday. She's a lucky girl in that Grammy has never missed being with her on any of her birthdays including the day she was born. This year she was roadtrippin' it with Grammy and Papa and when they got home she was able to celebrate Chuck E. Cheese's style with some cousins in Florida. The night before we left for roadtrip '10 she got to party with another set of cousins here in Utah poolside at our apartment. Suffice it to say she was able to turn seven in style.

I have yet to see Tycen today since he's with his dad this morning but when he gets home I have a lego set waiting for him. I hear he's already had a lego filled birthday. He had the choice to go to a movie last night but, apparently, he just wanted to put his new lego sets together. He's a manchild obsessed. He gets to have his birthday party with his favorite cousin Andrew later this week.

I must admit that whenever it's this time of year and I see a woman nine months pregnant (and there are plenty of them around in this part of the country) I cringe a little. Ok. A lot. But the bright side is that we have three birthdays down, one to go and then we get to take it easy until next May. *sigh of relief*

ps- Happy Father's Day to my Dad! Luckily for me (and for him because I'm awesome), I got to see him recently. I even helped my mom pick out his new shirts and basketball shorts. Lucky. I hope, for old time's sake, y'all are having something yummy for dinner with strawberry shortcake or an ice cream cake from Baskin Robbins. Yum.

2010-06-17T21:12:00.001-07:00

Watched Adam and realized that it's been a really long time since I listened to Joshua Radin and/or The Weepies.

btw- Loved the movie. Kind of like watching Fiel and Natalie in a movie. Except Fiel and Natalie ended up together. Oops did I just ruin the movie for y'all? My bad.

2010-06-14T15:47:00.000-07:00

Home sweet home.

ps- Kansas? Just as boring as I had anticipated. Colorado? Much more pleasing to the eye than I had expected. A pleasant surprise.

2010-06-11T19:28:00.000-07:00

In case you were wondering, my Clemon is just as cute as ever. And, *and* he remembered me. Even after a year and a half. Phew. I was really worried. I guess I'm more unforgettable than I realized.

Also, I'm now willing to admit that humidity does nothing good for my hair. Good thing I brought a hat. And while we're speaking of comfy clothes, can you believe Natalie was trying to ride cross country in jeans? Blasphemy. Everyone knows a great road trip's not a great road trip without a few really awesome pairs of sweats and pajama bottoms.

2010-05-28T10:14:00.000-07:00

So tired lately. Then I realized how many end of school year activities I've been to this week. Arts night, first grade bugs performance, third grade University of Learning graduation, third grade field day, read-a-thon, mental math competition, fifth grade archives project, fifth grade school olympics, first grade water day, third grade pet day, and preschool graduation. Huh. Who knew having four kids was gonna be so time consuming?

ps-All you out there with younger kids not in school yet? Just wait. Your turn is right around the corner. Prepare now to get some extra sleep.

2010-05-27T11:46:00.000-07:00

I'm hoarse from coaching the water baseball part of third grade field day. I now have complete gratitude for those who are willing to coach little league. Apparently my patience runs thin...

ps-I think I've officially fallen in love with the mountains. Several times I was staring at them instead of watching the kids. Who knew I could be so ADD?

2010-05-21T12:24:00.001-07:00

Names have been omitted to protect the guilty. I received the following text this morning.

"I had an epiphany of sorts today while I was blow drying my fried hair. When my parents had guests over when I was little, they used to make 'their own cigarettes' and share them. I remember thinking how weird it was because my mom didn't smoke. I just realized my parents were rolling and smoking joints when I was around them! Ha."

Quite possible the text of the century.

2010-05-18T08:15:00.000-07:00

The manchild has Bieber Fever. His favorite activity of late is sitting on the laptop, playing Club Penguin with the Biebs blaring from the ol' iTunes. My favorite activity of late is listening to him sing "One Less Lonely Girl" and "One Time". Maybe he can be the one who writes the romantic-ish, hip hop-ish, teenager anthem-ish songs for his band with Andrew. Jack can do the choreography. Andrew, how do you feel about being in a boy band?

2010-05-13T19:20:00.001-07:00

I often put lists on the sidebar suggesting songs for my Dad and Jukebox to play at their next gig. They don't seem to be taking me seriously so I'll plead my case here instead. I ain't too proud to beg.

First off, this is my go-to happy song. Picture it. The party's hoppin'. Jukebox just finished Mustang Sally. You're about to sit and rest and then they start in with this. You *have* to stay up and dance the night away. It's just too happy not to. Lookin' a fool? Don't care. Just in a happy place.

Secondly, I think y'all need to find a place for my boyfriend, Brad Paisley. This song would be especially fun to slow dance to, no? "They're off to the races in love. Look at 'em go. Now what in the world could go wrong? Don't tell them the odds. It's best they don't know. If love was a plane nobody'd get on."

And finally as an ode to the oldies but goodies, this number would be fitting. (I'm available to play tambourine if ever you're in a pickle.) Seriously. How fun would this be to jam? Maybe you can get Andrew to scream "Baby" in the background. He needs practice for when he's on tour someday.